Do Emotions Have a Place at Work?

I had a recent conversation with a leader in a large company who made the statement, “It would all be better if only people would just come to work and do their work, and leave their emotions at the door.”

It’s not the first time I’ve heard that sentiment — but this time it really caused me to pause and wonder. Would it really be a better place? Here’s what I think about emotions and work.

The statement about “leaving your emotions at work” left me wondering about just what emotions one should check at the door. At first I thought the comment was really saying, “Don’t bring negative emotions to work.” Things like frustration, grief, sadness, anger, fear, or indignation. Did he really not want his folks to bring joy, wonder, humor, caring, passion, excitement, kindness, trust, courage, or respect?

We didn’t have a chance to have a deeper conversation — but as I’ve thought about it more — here are my observations about emotions at work:

· There is a strong prevailing belief system, based on Fredrick Taylor’s (no relation — thank you) mechanistic view of work: that the more machine like we are, the more productive we become and the easier people are to manage. The root of this are in the “assembly line” view of work — assign a task, do it efficiently, and do not rock the boat. 114 years later this very first management consultant’s views still shape how we lead. I think he was wrong.

· There is a general discomfort with what are perceived as “negative” emotions — many leaders are ill equipped to deal with crying, anger, grief or fear. In fact, showing these emotions might even be a show stopper for your career progression. Never mind that crying means you care, the anger may be justified, the grief over real loses and fear well deserved.

· I believe that this aversion carries over to positive emotions as well. Even though we claim we want happy, passionate employees who care about their work, I’ve seen folks who exhibit these emotions too openly to be ostracized as well.

Is work better if we don’t bring emotions to work? I beg to differ!

I do not want to work with humans that act like machines; I want to work with humans that are human. And that means they bring both intelligence and emotion with them. They are smart AND have heart.

Here is the kind of place I want to work at. I want to work with folks who are passionate and who care and who are not afraid to show it.

I want to work with others who are brave enough to step up and out and have the courage to do so.

I want to work side by side with others who show up fully, as they really are. Which means at times they are happy and other times they are sad.

I want to work with passionate people who get indignant when things are unjust and have the courage to do something about it.

I want team members who care and because they do are sometimes disappointed and hurt.

I want to work with people who are Technicolor and not monochromatic. Who exhibit a full range of emotions, knowing fully that one can’t be courageous without at the same time overcoming fear.

Sign me up to be with folks who can fully experience happiness because they have known the depths of sadness. And who can be fully present when I am angry, upset, frustrated, or discouraged; not fixing, not avoiding, not judging. Who can just sit with me and sit with the emotion and trust that it’s OK.

I crave working with those who deeply acknowledge that I’m human too — and that emotions (both positive and negative) bring spark, passion and creativity — which is much more than any machine can bring.

Would we be better if we “checked our emotions” at the door before going to work? I say as resounding NO! It might be less messy and less uncomfortable — but it also is dull, lifeless, sterile and inert — not a place where I can bring my full self and contribute fully.